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Rakusu 1
While sewing my rakusu… (2013) © Photo: Barbara-Pararpem

 

In the sewing hell

 

When I went last Friday in the zendo for sitting, I took the two new support cushions with me, which I’d bought specially. In the Zendo it has only three of these and two of them need my friend. A Zafu is not enough – what I found out only after 2 3/4 years, believe it or not! Somehow I did not realize, that this is possibly one reason for my back pain while sitting. Finally my friend, who is leader of the Friday sitting respectively Zen priest, has analysed together with me my posture while sitting more closely. Since then I sit, regarding the physical side, much easier if I push one or two of these pillows under the zafu, although the back may still answer after 10-20 minutes. Anyway, the legs go numb regularly.

When I asked after the sitting, where I could stow them (- so that they are not lost trough putting them to the big pile of other pillows), my friend looked at the large plastic bag, in which I had taken them with me and said, I should sew a name tag on them and get a fabric bag, where I could store later the kimono too.

I have at least 1 hour, if not two, combed the web for a suitable fabric bag. There are none. So I have, altough reluctantly, decided, to sew one by myself. That can’t be so hard, I thought. Although I know: I have absolutely no talent to sew. It also gives me no joy, it makes my blood not aboiling – at least not of lust, at most of trouble.

What can I say: I’d better took the plastic bag. I know: totally lacking in style. Almost as bad as if you would put the Okesa in a plastic bag. The bag, that I have sewn, has become an bodge, if at all useful. Botch, botch, botch. Not just ugly. I’ve also had no patience, what else could so become it. And in my megalomania I had even in mind a lining and internal dividers. Haha. The money for the fabric, it wasn’t worth.

As I began to sew the rakusu, that was a great feeling, like coming home! But the completion of it: the sheer horror! Yet for someone, who has sometimes compulsive neurotic tendencys. No one can imagine to sew several hours on something and in the end not being further a single stitch. Not one !!! I had “threaded like crazy”. Improvisation from my friend while sewing in the white fabric on the back side, who gave me sewing instructions, was also required, because I had botched it and the whole throw waves as on the high sea. I was allowed to look at some Raksusus from a close distance and none, not one, was nearly so crooked, bumpy and messed up as mine, somehow. All so wonderfully flat, straight, precisely, “perfect”.

At the handwork in school I remember with mixed feelings. The first teacher of this subject, I liked very much. The other: less. They probably don’t liked me too. The accidental “drop of the stich” during this shitty knitting “gloves with thumb” brought up a bollocking. Not that I’m assessed really clumsy, on the contrary, but I was never and I am not a seamstress. Never. My heart beats for painting and writing. And not for the eye of the needle. If there is a hell, then it’s the sewing hell, and therein govern handwork teachers and seamstresses, roasting the damned on the sewing machine rust.

grins

 

Barbara Paraprem

 

German/Deutsch: Weiterlesen »

Talent

Paying (kakisky at morguefile.com)
Source: kakisky at morguefile.com

 

Everyone has a talent.
The talent is himself, as he is,
not just parts of it.

 

Jeder hat ein Talent.
Das Talent ist er selbst, so wie er ist,
nicht nur Teile davon.

 

Barbara-Paraprem

 

Me

Child (cocoparisienne at pixabay.com)
Source: cocoparisienne at pixabay.com

 

“Every morning I jump out of bed
and step on a landmine.
The landmine is me.
After the explosion,
I spend the rest of the day
putting the pieces together.”

 

Ray Bradbury
in “Zen in the Art of Writing”

 

Lotus blossom (Comfreak, pixabay.com)
Lotus blossom – comfreak at pixabay.com

 

Who, if not you yourself,
can in and through mud and waves
grow toward the light?

Wer, wenn nicht Du selbst,
kann in und durch Schlamm und Wellen
dem Licht entgegenwachsen?

 

Barbara-Paraprem

 

Ksitigarbha, the eart store bodhisattva (commons.wikimedia.org)
Ksitigarbha, the earth store bodhisattva
With his staff he uses to pound open the gates of Hell,
and his cintamani pearl for illuminating all the various realms of hell,
to benefit sentient beings trapped there
commons.wikimedia.org

 

NOT-KNOWING

 

We do not fear that,
what we usually think of as death,
but the uncertainty, that may accompany it.
It’s the not-knowing that scares us,
because our whole, past life was built upon knowing
– to be safe from the sudden loss of our self,
even if this loss is only seemingly,
because it is not possible to lose that, what we truly are.
Every effort, as well that, what we may regard as very noble,
is ultimately an attempt to escape this uncertainty.
It is the look into this abyss, which bottom we don’t recognize,
we are afraid of,
because this look brings us in contact with that feeling,
that feels like a fall from those heaven of being borne.
All our fears always go back to this primal fear.
However, we will always fall again
– if we search for those heavens, which are coming and going.
And yet, those who think they die, maybe they are closer to the truth,
than those, who never consider themselves to be fallen from that sky,
because their illusion is exactly proportional to the realization.
Then a miracle may happen,
as it might only happens once every 1000 Eons,
and a great sinner becomes a great saint,
and in the midst of death blossoms life,
and the world and God are no longer different from each other.

 

Barbara-Paraprem

 

 

German/Deutsch: Weiterlesen »

Farts like roses

rose gif

The inability to sense farts as smell of roses,
doesn’t mean, that you’re stupid.
However, be able to do it, but don’t have to do,
may point to enlightenment.

 

Die Unfähigkeit, Fürze als Rosenduft wahrzunehmen,
heisst noch lange nicht, dass Du dumm bist.
Es doch zu können, jedoch nicht zu müssen,
mag auf Erleuchtung hindeuten.

 

Barbara-Paraprem

 

I went quickly in this grocery store at the main station in Zurich. A man entered the store before me, which was, judging by his garments, obviously Buddhist monk. I was watching him furtively, not least due the fact, that such Buddhist phenomenca attracts me magic, and any culture from this environment.

He went to the cooling rack, where it has, among other things, also meat. That would be a BLOCKBUSTER PHOTO!!!, it flashed through my mind, even though he has probably looked only for vegetable food. Hectically I grabbed in my backpack for my camera – but I was too late: the monk had turned around again and went to the checkout. I followed him on the foot.

He turned around. I grinned broadly at him. He smiled back: “Have we met?” Me: “No. .. But now.” He: “Maybe from a previous life.” I made a joke: “Zurich will be occupied by the sectarians!” and was referring both to his striking appearance, as well as mine (- with Mala, ultra-short hair and spot on forehead). We got talking a little. He told me that he just comes from a lecture of the highest teacher of his community. I asked, he told me her name. Me: “That’s not Kadampa?” He: “Yes!” I told him that I was already in the temple in Altstetten.

Then I paid my product, he dug a few steps ahead for something in his backpack and gave me the flyer for “Dharma Festival 2014″. I should just not throw in the nearest trash can, when I no longer want it, but maybe pass. I thank him, wished him a lot of fun and hold myself back very barely to give him the hand or a “slap” on the arm out of sheer joy about this meeting. Monks you should not touch. I know this from a good friend (- even it has other reasons there), also ordained, that I try to “desensitize” from time to time and just was allowed to celebrate some successes, hahaha. ;)))

Soon I’m even a “official” and I shall get the “magical breastplate” (rakusu). I feel a little bit uneasy about it. On the other hand: No more “witch shot” (German: “Hexenschuss” = English: “Lumbago” – sorry, some jokes you can’t translate…) resp. demons shot with this bullet proof vest! I wish.

 

Deutsch / German: Weiterlesen »

GATE

Buddha (Photo Barbara-Paraprem)

© Photo: Barbara-Paraprem

 

 

GATE

 

When we stop running away from ourselves,
by not trying to feel different,
by embracing our whole supposed poorness
and the feeling of not being loved and to suffer need,
with compassion for ourselves,
so if we stay in this way with every possible emotion,
without making the step into term, explain, judge
and finally also fight,
then we encounter ourselves for the first time.
Then we begin to make us familiar with ourselves,
as we would awaken slowly, slowly
from a sleep lasting since eternities,
as if we were only now, when we were not before.
Then a intimacy grows with ourselves,
then we see with our heart and not just with the mind:
God’s or Buddha’s love
is the same as the love for ourselves.
If we remain exactly by that, what we feel,
our heart will become so open, that no more separation exists,
because all separation happens only in the mind.
Then we see the perfect in the imperfect, the beauty in the ugliness,
because there is longer any place, where we would not be.
All we can see, is
always only we ourselves, always only we ourselves, always only we ourselves.
All we can love, we are always only we ourselves.
This not to see means to suffer.
What we see may seems to us like a curse.
Yet this gate to hell is a gate to heaven,
and opens up to us after long struggles far greater peace,
than any sweet threshold.

 

Barbara-Paraprem

 

 

Deutsch / German: Weiterlesen »

smilie seufz

Cracks – Risse

Cracks

 

If constantly
Hydrochloric acid was sold as sugar to you,
If you have learned,
to hold your breath,
so you hear every whisper,
If you know exactly,
how you have not only to appear,
but also to feel and think,
so that a drop of drought
falls to the ground full of cracks,
If you smell decay in the wedding dress
and life in the black coat,
then the impossible happens
and life itself dies.
Maybe the grace of hopelessness
will kiss you,
because any resistance
would be only a new lie.
Maybe.

 

Barbara Paraprem – 25.8.2014

 

 

Risse

 

Wenn Dir beständig
Salzsäure als Zucker verkauft wurde,
Wenn Du gelernt hast,
Deinen Atem anzuhalten,
damit Du jedes Flüstern hörst,
Wenn Du genau weisst,
wie Du nicht nur zu erscheinen hast,
sondern auch zu fühlen und zu denken,
damit ein Tropfen Dürre
auf die Erde voller Risse fällt,
Wenn Du Verwesung im Brautkleid riechst
und Leben im schwarzen Mantel,
dann geschieht das Unmögliche
und das Leben selbst stirbt.
Vielleicht wird Dich die
Gnade der Hoffnungslosigkeit küssen,
weil jede Gegenwehr
nur eine erneute Lüge wäre.
Vielleicht.

 

Barbara-Paraprem – 25.8.2014

 

ZEN COMIC 18 - GO - 20.8.2014
ZEN COMIC 18
– GO
© Barbara-Paraprem

Relaxed dog

Relaxed dog at Starbucks (Zurich)…
grins
Photo © Barbara-Paraprem

Hund 1 (Photo Barbara-Paraprem)

Hund 2 (Photo Barbara-Paraprem)

hamster

Some Buddha figures, photographed in Zurich…
smilie kotz


© Barbara-Paraprem

Lama Jumping

Best scene at 1:43…

grins

345   Corcomroe Abbey, Ireland (HogPro at commons.wikimedia.org, Photo Editing Barbara-Paraprem)
Corcomroe Abbey, Ireland
Photo: HogPro at commons.wikimedia.org
Photo Editing: Barbara-Paraprem

 

No church or temple is called only
“Jesus” or “Buddha” or “Krishna”
or “God” or “Truth” or “Self.”
And that for the same reason,
like any shop is not just called shop:
It is pointed out,
which way by a group of people is preferred.
The truth itself can’t be purchased nor be selled.
To a commedity becomes she only there,
where this way is declared as the only one which makes blissfull.

 

Keine Kirche oder Tempel heisst nur
“Jesus” oder “Buddha” oder “Krishna”
oder “Gott” oder “Wahrheit” oder “Selbst”.
Und das aus dem selben Grund,
wie irgendein Laden nicht einfach nur Laden heisst:
Es wird darauf hingewiesen,
welcher Weg von einer Gruppe von Menschen bevorzugt wird.
Die Wahrheit selbst kann weder gekauft noch verkauft werden.
Zum Handelsgut wird sie erst dort,
wo dieser Weg zum allein seligmachenden erklärt wird.

 

Barbara-Paraprem

 

Street Music

I filmed some artists, which made music on the street.

The first video is from 17. June 2014. I was walking trough Zurich respectively get off the tram and heard some special music. Actually I wanted to go in the other direction, but this music was so special, that I had to check out its source. It’s DUO SERA with hang and trumpet. I’m sorry for the bad audio quality, but with my little digital camera and a lot of background noises (city, traffic, wind), You can’t expect more.

The second video is from today. I’m feeling low today and was sitting in a cafe. Then I heard this barrel organ again, which in the past I heard at different times at the same place. The songs took turns, and then came the one, which I know from the Holy Mass: “Now Thank We All Our God”. It has touched my heart, someway. I drunk my coffee and walked to the woman, which played more other songs. I asked her for this specific one and kindly she took the paper roll, set it in the barrel organ und turned back to the point, where the song starts.

 

 

Angel 1 (Paulus Church, Lucerne, Photo by Barbara-Paraprem)

Angel 2 (Paulus Church, Lucerne, Photo by Barbara-Paraprem)

© Barbara-Paraprem

 

Glitter Death

I’ve created a “Glitter-Death”…

First I took this picture:

 

Pest (C. Merkel, 1850, Bilder des Todes ober Todtentanz für alle Stände, commons.wikimedia.org) 1
Pest
C.Merkel, 1850
commons.wikimedia.org

Pest (C. Merkel, 1850, Bilder des Todes ober Todtentanz für alle Stände, commons.wikimedia

 

 

Then I removed the background with a graphic programm (- Ulead Photo Express SE 3.0 – it’s very old and no more available, but You can do the same with many other graphic programms, p.e. Photoshop…), and cropped it to the central figure. Then I uploaded this prepared picture to this site: www.glitterphoto.net and finished it with the tools “glitter fill” and “glitter stamps”. With “Ulead Gif Animator” I have corrected some little blemishs (- this step is not obligatory). If You like to decorate the same picture in Your own way, You find it above already without background respectively with white background.

 

THE DEATH (Barbara-Paraprem)© Barbara-Paraprem

 

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

 

GLITTER DEATHUpdate 17.8.: My 74 year old mother has for about 2 months for the first time a computer and is learning now to use him. I showed her a few things, also how to make glitter images. This is what she has sent me today…

 

The Pathless Path

548   THE PATHLESS PATH - 3.8.2014
THE PATHLESS PATH © Barbara-Paraprem – 3.8.2014

ENLIGHTENMENT

546   ENLIGHTENMENT - 2.8.2014
© Barbara-Paraprem

806   SEEING WITH THE HEART - 31.7.2014807   SEEING WITH THE HEART - 31.7.2014808   SEEING WITH THE HEART - 31.7.2014
SEEING WITH THE HEART (Background transparent)
308 x 533 – 188 x 325 – 108 x 187
© Barbara-Paraprem

Ooooh… Don’t look too long at it, otherwise You may get dizzy… ;)

Barry Martin’s Hopalong Orbits Visualizer

 

Nuns – Nonnen

A drawing by me from 2004…

 

150b   NONNEN - 11.3.2004
NONNEN (“NUNS”) © Barbara-Paraprem – 11.3.2004

 

It’s a compilation of this two elder drawings…

 

80b   BRÄUTLEIN CHRISTI
BRÄUTLEIN CHRISTI (“LITTLE BRIDE OF CHRIST”) © Barbara-Paraprem

 

74B   NONNE - 12.1.1996
NONNE (“NUN”) © Barbara-Paraprem – 12.1.1996

Text in the speech bubble: “At my skin I let only water an C.J.” Once there was a tv advertising for a skin care product with the slogan: “On my skin I let only water an CD!”

smilie tod

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